Should A Aspiring Influencer Pal Stop Using Me for Material?

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can get us: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?